What To Do When Your Loved One Gets Glutened

Does someone you love have celiac? Then you are bound to come across this minor tragedy at some point—the infamous glutening. When someone you love says “I got glutened,” your reaction can say a lot about your relationship. You might be have this initial feeling...

But instead of reacting with confusion, or understandably, fear, please refer to this survival guide. Your special celiac will thank you for it.

1. Embrace the initial angst. 

You loved one will probably want to loudly, and with many swears, list off everything they’ve eaten that day, guessing what could or could not have contained secret gluten. Just nod and listen. Also, have a seat. This rant might take a while, but your silent participation is appreciated, trust me.

2. Prepare the heating pad. 

One of the most comforting thing to a rumbling tummy, or, you know, stomach issues on par with Mount Vesuvius, is heat. Get your special celiac tucked in to bed with a heating pad, a shit-ton of tums, and a glass of water.  Be prepared for a night in binge watching your favorite shows on Netflix (hey, there are worst ways to spend a Friday night!).

3. Get ready for a better tomorrow. 

Stock your favorite celiac’s kitchen with super-safe gluten-free foods. Eating gluten-free can often feel frustrating, limiting, and complicated. These feelings are most poignant after getting glutened, especially if the cause is unknown. Show them that you care about their health and happiness by making eating gluten-free seem a little bit easier. If you need some suggestions, here are my favorite intentionally gluten free foods. 

So, how do you take care of your special celiac when they get glutened?

Did I get glutened, or did my appendix just burst?

I rarely have a reaction to gluten (mostly because I’m pretty careful, but I'm also very lucky), but when I do get glutened, oh geez, watch out.

When that gluten hits...

Source: whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com

First thought: Did I get glutened, or did my appendix just burst?

Second thought: Should I go to the hospital or wait to see if this is just a gluten thing?

Sucks getting glutened. It’s kind of like getting food poisoning, except your stomach hurts so bad you can even walk.

I was first glutened one summer about a year ago when I decided I was going to eat a eggroll, dammit, and no one could stop me!!!

Sidenote: No one could stop me because I was alone, where most of my bad decisions are made haha.

About six hours later I was laying on the ground, writhing in pain, facetiming with my spouse (who was on a business trip to Japan) trying to figure out if this is what getting glutened felt like, or if my intestines had somehow turned into a molten lead.

So last night I was pretty sure that I got glutened, and it wasn’t a medical emergency, but I couldn’t help but feel extremely frustrated. When the F did I get glutened? I hadn’t cheated (I’m rarely even tempted anymore),  I’d been making mostly my own food, and I’d been careful about what I ordered when I went out to eat. I know that I eat trace amounts of gluten all the time, because I do eat out a lot, and I never have a reaction. So what happened?

Now I’ve got a whole new crazy set of ideas running through my brain. Am I more sensitive to gluten now? Is there a kind of gluten I don’t know about that I ate? Are the labels lying? Do I need to be even more careful?

I drank a ton of water, settled into bed (because moving felt like absolute death), and put a heating pad on my belly. My spouse snuggled in with me and in the morning I started feeling better, but still not myself yet. But more than the physical pain, I’m worried about the mystery gluten, and will it strike again?