Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Did I get glutened, or did my appendix just burst?

I rarely have a reaction to gluten (mostly because I’m pretty careful, but I'm also very lucky), but when I do get glutened, oh geez, watch out.

When that gluten hits...
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Source: whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com

First thought: Did I get glutened, or did my appendix just burst?

Second thought: Should I go to the hospital or wait to see if this is just a gluten thing?

Sucks getting glutened. It’s kind of like getting food poisoning, except your stomach hurts so bad you can even walk.

I was first glutened one summer about a year ago when I decided I was going to eat a eggroll, dammit, and no one could stop me!!!

Sidenote: No one could stop me because I was alone, where most of my bad decisions are made haha.

About six hours later I was laying on the ground, writhing in pain, facetiming with my spouse (who was on a business trip to Japan) trying to figure out if this is what getting glutened felt like, or if my intestines had somehow turned into a molten lead.

So last night I was pretty sure that I got glutened, and it wasn’t a medical emergency, but I couldn’t help but feel extremely frustrated. When the F did I get glutened? I hadn’t cheated (I’m rarely even tempted anymore),  I’d been making mostly my own food, and I’d been careful about what I ordered when I went out to eat. I know that I eat trace amounts of gluten all the time, because I do eat out a lot, and I never have a reaction. So what happened?

Now I’ve got a whole new crazy set of ideas running through my brain. Am I more sensitive to gluten now? Is there a kind of gluten I don’t know about that I ate? Are the labels lying? Do I need to be even more careful?


I drank a ton of water, settled into bed (because moving felt like absolute death), and put a heating pad on my belly. My spouse snuggled in with me and in the morning I started feeling better, but still not myself yet. But more than the physical pain, I’m worried about the mystery gluten, and will it strike again?